Ready, Set, ...Pump

Midget wrestling tonight! I would tell you where, but I am sure the crowd will be overflow. Even now those midgets are pumping up their muscles.

 

April showers? Yes. it is April for one more week. You would not know it today, but we had snow this month. But there are no more excuses. It is time to ride.

We made it to the Bike Expo, simply out of habit. I intended to buy a new helmet but the wallet doth protest. Besides, pumps were cheaper than helmets. (we didn’t but a pump either) The nice clamp onto the stem with a pressure gauge pumps of various price. You could even buy a pump bundle, complete with a tire repair CO2 kit and bicycle care products for $100; still cheaper than some helmets.

As we approached the Bike Expo we saw at least a dozen people walking out with pumps. And it is time to pump up those tires; the Kettles have opened and so has Little Switzerland. Minooka is open also. The biking season is underway. The rain this week was not enough to close the mountain bike trails for long. Check before you ride or simply use some common sense.

The La Crosse Omnium is just around the corner. One of the most beautiful areas of our entire country. Pump up those tires, get out on your bike and prepare for whatever level or venue you desire to compete at. The WORS handbook is available on line or at many of your local bicycle shops.

You don’t compete? Despise competition? Get off my blog!

I have written about bicycle baskets in the past, that their were too few available. That has changed somewhat. I saw a very interesting basket at the Bike Expo. It clipped into a bracket you mount on your bicycle. You can detach it and it has swing up handles, much like a grocery basket.

I asked my wife, “Do you want a basket like this for your bike? You can go grocery shopping with your bicycle.”

“No.” she answered in her most common of responses to my inquiries, as I mused getting it for myself and doing my own grocery shopping.

So am I become a housewife? Underemployed I find myself vacuuming and cleaning, and doing the dishes at an ever increasing rate. If I were to take up such a role, certainly “the dishes would all be cleaner.” But never fear, such a fate will never befall me, bringing all to question the future of what it is to be a man. I have many a manly pursuits to entertain myself in, building with wood, working the dirt with my hands…

I am growing potatoes this year. Seeing how expensive grow bags are, a person on the Kenosha Potato Project Facebook site suggested I could make grow bags out of a good quality garden fabric; that one uses to block weeds and such. I suggested to my wife that we get a sewing machine, but the finances are prohibitive. So I will sew up some grow bags by hand.

It’s beautiful outside. Get out and ride your bike; …do something, anything outside. (I know I’m on the computer but I was outside) It looks like we will have a good crop of peaches this year, despite losing several major branches from the weight of the fruit tearing them from the tree last year. I saw a bumble bee buzzing about the yard today. I do not think we will be doing any canning though.

Sorry, I have been long overdue in my posts. I will rectify that.

The $134 question: What were my three most favorite WORS races? Keeping the same question. Check out the Charity Jackpot Page link in the sidebar to possibly triple the amount.

The Who; 50th Anniversary

“The Who” performed in Milwaukee almost two weeks ago now. I had been listening to the promotions for their show with this overwhelming sensation that I would be there; which was ridiculous. I couldn’t afford it, had absolutely no plans of going and no intention of even trying to go.

So I was bowling. A group was working the league to raise money; I believe it was for cancer. I bought one raffle ticket and won two tickets to see The Milwaukee Admirals.

At the game they announced they had $25 tickets for “The Who” on sale for $10. After the game, thinking that any tickets they had would have been long sold, I asked if they had any $10 tickets left. (basically obstructed or way back seats) They did. I bought two, under my wife’s scowl as she said of herself, “I can’t go!”

I found a guy I know from Sheboygan to go with. Fairly good seat, but right on the aisle where everyone comes up out of concessions (walking in front of you). I had a young fat guy next to me (enough said) as I gave the aisle seat to my friend.

The younger crowd next to us all walked out, for a smoke or something, and a lady came up to my friend and said, “Our babysitter is sick and we have to leave. Do you want our tickets?”

On the floor about twelve rows back near absolute center stage.

Why was I supposed to be there? It remains a mystery. “The Who” is the one band I have come to appreciate more and more over the years. I had a couple of their albums when I was young but I listened more to “The Doors” and “Styx”, and a bit of “Queen”.

“Cheap Trick”, “Super Tramp”, “Joe Walsh”…. My wife says “Queen” never sounds old. Neither does “The Who”.

“The Who”, a band from a time when everyone debated who was the best. Who was the best guitarist? Who was the best drummer? (Keith Moon) Who was the best bass player? (John Entwistle) Who was the best vocalist? Who had the greatest stage shows? Who was the best period?

Now, a few woman performers are recognized for amazing vocals. Extraordinary men vocalists are recognized only if they sing opera. A complimentary word is occasionally given to artists who actually write their own music. But what everyone really looks at in music these days is, “Who makes the most money?” …Something I never recall hearing anyone debate in my youth.

The young people at the show seemed to pay little attention. When leaving they snickered, “Have you ever seen so many people with gray hair?” Yes the crowd was generally older. I noticed a not so tall woman who really needed to be on someone’s shoulders to see anything but…

“The Who” truly is one of the greatest rock bands ever. They were playing “Bargain” when we got to the floor.

Speaking of bargains, the Bike Expo is fast approaching. I was hoping to be occupied that weekend but my plans fell through. I am not intending to volunteer for the Metro Mountain Bikers booth either; a bit late for that. And you can bowl three games free everyday all Summer for just $30; $26 for children.

Emery’s is already in sale mode; for over two weeks. They couldn’t wait. They call it the Trek Fest Sale. Their sale ends the day after the Bike Expo. So if you need a bike right now… But the trails are not yet open.

For you road riders the La Crosse Omnium is in full promotion fever.

I really need a new helmet. More to the point, I could use a new bike… maybe a couple of new bikes, and a stand to hold a bike when I do maintenance and… It could never end.

The $133 question: What were my three most favorite WORS races? Keeping the same question. Check out the Charity Jackpot Page link in the sidebar to possibly triple the amount.

Baconfest Milwaukee, 2016

Excuse my recent absence from the Internet. You will have to read one of my future posts on another blog to understand why, but at this particular moment our excursion to Baconfest needs to be addressed. Our report is long overdue. I know you have all been waiting anxious to hear news of such a wondrous event, and perhaps you have even been anxious over my long absence (Okay maybe not).

Wow! Nueske’s has truly fantastic products. Their bacon and cheddar sausage, …I’m still drooling. I know they always have a kiosk in Mayfair Mall during the holidays.

The Wisconsin Cheese Mart, of Old World Third Street, had this bacon wrapped baked cheddar….

Where am I? Oh!

And if you gave the Cheese People your e-mail address they gave you a free chunk of cheese.

Then their was the bacon wrapped water chestnuts and the mounds of bacon and bacon dip provided by Patrick Cudahy.

Problem. Not enough vendors. My heart sank as soon as we entered the auditorium. Too much empty space. Waiting in line was the rule of the day though the organizers told us, “Don’t make lines just walk up and take what you want.”

Did we get our money’s worth? Two nice aprons, cheese, the consumption of a goodly portion of bacon and bacon enhanced foods (though I was expecting much more) and $15 in slot machine play? I may be wrong to suggest that we did not get our money’s worth.

Long story short; they need to keep the same amount of available tickets and find at least twice as many vendors. We don’t drink alcohol and all the free (if you bought a ticket) drink samples, there were quite a few booths, were alcoholic. I whole lot of people left dissatisfied. I expected more food, and to be their max for one hour of gorging rather then the nearly two hours it took us to forage for enough samples to feel like maybe we got our money’s worth. Then we had to wait in another long line to get our credit for the slots.

But the experience has not brought my spirit down. I have no less a reverence for all that is bacon than before.

Spring is on the rise and riding is on the mind. If you fancy I long Sunday drive tomorrow, Saturday, then the La Crosse Bike Swap II might be for you. Or just prepare for the coming, ever faithful Bike Expo at State Fair Park; April 8th through the 10th. The original Bike Expo, not a Johnny come lately wanna-be. And it is free, unlike some of its’ spin offs.

Metro Mountain Bikers here in Milwaukee will be continuing with their fantastic work with Maintenance Mondays. The Odd Tuesday Rides will continue and Competitive Wednesdays will be expanding. A local retailer known for hosting similar events may take the Metro Mountain Biker’s Wednesday event under their wing to cover any insurance requirements. The location may vary from week to week.

Be prepared to ride. If you have the mind to ride now watch for ice along shady corners and underpasses.

The $132 question: What were my three most favorite WORS races? Keeping the same question. Check out the Charity Jackpot Page link in the sidebar to possibly triple the amount.

Super Duper Super Bowl

The Super Bowl is tomorrow and I am hoping the Broncos crush Carolina, literally, with their number one defense. No Cam. It is not because your black, it is because you are a jerk. Tearing down the Packers banner and destroying it… No apologies, no fines, nothing. And you don’t do your little dances in front of your fans, you do them in front of the opposing team’s fans. Here is an idea Cam… Get together and do your little dances in front of the opposing team’s bench.

All this race crap people are trying to draw out around the Super Bowl and Cam Newton (here’s the tricky part… the big fig Newton) is not sticking and just taints the whole experience.

Here you have a quarterback whom few will deny is a future hall of famer clearly on the basis of his talents, and people are trying to make an issue of his race and that of the team. Do the Panthers really have more black players than other teams? I don’t even know. And I haven’t heard anyone bring up Jimmy the Greek.

All that in your face stuff the Panthers do is not even that distasteful, if they do not mind being hated for it. If you know you’re the best and bring the results, go old school; be the jerks do not whine like a bunch of cry babies. No one ever made the rule that winners have to be liked. History will vindicate you if you are worthy of your outrageously pompous behavior. Until then if you want to act like a jerk, you are going to be treated like a jerk.

In that light I predict 28 points for the Broncos in the first half; 21 by the Bronco’s defense.

And that is all I have time for now, but the prize pool grows.

The $131 question: What were my three most favorite WORS races? Keeping the same question. Check out the Charity Jackpot Page link in the sidebar to possibly triple the amount.

Gym Time

Is it time for yet another attempt at a gym membership, because we all know a membership somewhere is required to lose weight? The latest diet fad is the negative calorie food diet. Yes, you can eat the fat away though there is no scientific evidence that any food is truly negative calorie.

Living in fear will most likely cause you to gain weight, so fear not when you hear of terrorist attempts here in Milwaukee. The FBI got their man and he worked at “9 Round Fitness” which I have discovered is an alluring system and a gym that has something I have always wanted in a gym; punching bags.

Now that the gyms will be thinning out, as the new year resolutions wane, it is a good time to research the best gym for you; the resolute. For the rest of you, there is another Hugh Jass Fat Bike Series race this coming Saturday. It is in Waukesha, in Minooka Park, a great venue.

“9 Round Fitness” appears to be a mixture of Cross Fit and mixed martial arts training. You go in, start at one of nine stations, work out three minutes at each of the nine stations with thirty second rest periods in between. Thirty minutes and you are out. The workouts are changed and vary daily; each day designed to give you a full body workout. In this way it is much like Cross Fit, which I also find alluring.

Cross Fit, when I checked this Summer was $125 a month. 9 Round Fitness, from what I could find, though I didn’t get it from them directly, is $49 a month. My former gym, Blast Fitness, has sent me an offer to rejoin for $15 a month. Their more expensive packages include child care while you work out. My wife wants to join a gym and talks often about Planet Fitness which is $10 month if you want to restrict yourself to a single location, or $20 a month for nationwide access and free message chair usage.

Cross Fit offers daily varied workouts for free on their website. Varying your workouts is the latest craze that in fact is considered very effective for fitness and health. Medicine balls and such equipment can be more expensive than one imagines, but for $125 a month if you have the space at home you should be able to create your own Cross Fit training area in three or four months; the rest is frosting.

I imagine from my research that 9 Round Fitness supplies trainers and motivators with the greatest interactivity for the price. They also boast the availability fitness monitoring tools.

I am losing weight now that the holidays are over. I believe a meal plan would be helpful as when we have no planned lunch I tend to munch throughout the afternoon. We don’t eat breakfast. We have the Bulletproof Coffee. The Bulletproof Coffee was initially successful at losing weight. It feeds good gut bacteria that thin people have  a lot of and discourages bacteria that tells your body to store fat.

I believe the addition of kombucha, a probiotic, has provided more good gut bacteria. It is just my opinion, but I consider it a reinforcement of the Bulletproof Diet. More on kombucha in the future; …really. And 3D printers.

The $130 question: What were my three most favorite WORS races? Keeping the same question. Check out the Charity Jackpot Page link in the sidebar to possibly triple the amount.

So Much To Do Saturday

And I am not talking the Winter’s Farmers Market, though that is a great way to start a Saturday; plenty of food vendors if you want something to eat on the spot.

The truly epic events this weekend are the Ray’s IMBA Weekend, where IMBA members can ride two for one; Buy one entry and get a second for a friend free (friend need not be a member) or buy one day for yourself and get the next day free. Become a member on the spot. Riding at Ray’s is worth the experience and with gas prices down it doesn’t matter as much how far away you are.

So… I heard that after you make this epic hill climb on your Fat Bike during the race you have to stop and drive a nail into a piece of wood before you can continue. Sounds like loads of fun if you enjoy objects to ridicule. I can be writing of none other than The Hugh Jass Fat Bike Series. Do you want to see how far you can throw a bike, among other things, than you don’t wan to miss the Hugh Jass. The event is clearly making a name for itself. Next race is tomorrow in Kletzch Park

You can rent a Fat Bike at the Hugh Jass or word is Fixation might have some demos for people to ride. There is also a Great Lakes Fat Bike Series.

The Milwaukee County Parks are reviewing their policy as to allowing Cyclocross races. In one park in particular there seems to be an issue of wear and tear. The biggest problem appears to be riders practicing continuously on fixed routes despite being told not to. So I understood from the last Metro Mountain Bikers’ monthly meeting.

Another question arose as to whether snow shoeing the trail, in order to groom the snow for Winter riding, should be considered volunteer hours. Only if you hate snow shoeing I say. Metro Mountain Bikers put in nearly 1,200 hours of volunteer work on our local trails. There will be an appreciation party.

Seriously it could be dangerous, if you don’t have a Fat Bike, to ride hard frozen trails. That’s my experience. It is also very destructive to the trails to ride them when they are soft, even in Winter.

It has to be on the coldest day of the year thus far. Our furnace n began to underperform leaving us cold, huddled under our blanket. I tried restarting it a couple times. And of course I hit it here and there with this wrench. The spring in the mechanism made sure I didn’t strike it too hard. But that is what we all did back in the day when something broke down; we hit it. Something a millennial may find beyond their comprehension. And it often worked. In our case we had to call the furnace repair man who replaced s sensor. The experience has caused me to turn our furnace way up.

The $129 question: What were my three most favorite WORS races? Keeping the same question. Check out the Charity Jackpot Page link in the sidebar to possibly triple the amount.

The Wise Men

My wife realized that we hadn’t bought any eggnog this past holiday season. She forced me make my rice pudding on Christmas Day and now she and my mother demand I make more… and more.

The Epiphany and Orthodox Christmas has passed. The three wise men have come and gone. The Christmas tree and lights have come down. There is a common understanding that it takes a lifetime to become a truly wise man. If you want to be a wise man in your home, one’s castle, among your family here is a sure and proven method. Do the dishes. Making a delicious rice pudding doesn’t hurt either.

My rice pudding is delicious; to die for. Restricted to my bulletproof coffee for breakfast my wife sat before me savoring a dreamy creamy bowl for breakfast, watching me as she ate. My wife has a beautiful smile.

If you are a true mountain bike enthusiast, in pursuit of feats of extreme physical prowess, it may be wise to register for your summer events now. If Europe is your destined proving ground The Trans Alp or the Sudety MTB Challenge compete for your favor; each taking place at about the same time in July. The MTB Challenge also hosts a series of events in May.

Closer to home registration for The Ore to Shore event in the Upper Peninsula is cheaper the earlier you sign up, though registration is not yet open. Mark the last week in May if this be your chosen claim to fame. February 1st is when entries open for the Simpson Desert Bike Challenge where the toilet bowls swirl the wrong way; down under. Sign up for the Trans Iowa is closed; the event is full. The BC Bike Race sold out in less than five days. The Tour Divide is open to any rider that shows up with the resources and time.

Even closer to home. The Tour of America’s Dairyland (not California) is growing in stature in the competitive road bike community. Unclear when registration opens but it will be great for spectating here in Milwaukee. And they have a Facebook page.

The Milwaukee Ray’s Indoor Bike Park received some local news coverage. These warm days of sleet are not the time to be riding the local trails. Do it indoors.

The Bicycle Times has reviewed some great mountain bike adventures from 2015 for reference, if you find competition a bit too traumatic.

Preparation, resolutions, reflection and contemplation embrace one as the holidays pass and the Winter confines. The house is being cleaned and organized, determinations made and we hope to get back out to the Winter Farmer’s Market tomorrow.

The $128 question: What were my three most favorite WORS races? Keeping the same question. Check out the Charity Jackpot Page link in the sidebar to possibly triple the amount.